Fearful Living

     There are many, many things that annoy me. Recently, this one has come to light, but first I'll give you some back story. I hung out with one of my best friends recently and it had been awhile since we had seen each other, so I had forgotten that she has this "paranoia" where she is constantly afraid of being either kidnapped, raped, or killed. We were at the mall and we were walking behind three men who were probably in their mid to late twenty's. She wanted to walk one way so we were no longer behind them. I asked her why (I should've known why but I continued to ask) and she said "They look like creepers." This annoyed me on so many levels. I don't know if it was because I'd been walking for two hours or something else, but it really got to me. She does things like this all the time. For example, she'll call her mom if she sees a big white van or a suspicious character. Finally, this comes to what annoys me: Living in fear. She lives in constant fear. It is one thing to be aware but being scared all the time is just annoying.

     I used to be like her when I was ten. I'd be so scared to walk across the street to my friend's house. Now, I'll walk all the way to the grocery store, pick up a few things, and walk back home. When I got home that night, I told my mom all about our mishap at the mall. I hate to admit this, but my mom is a million times wiser than me. She said something that calmed me down and made me realize why my friend is like that.

     The reason I am no longer paranoid about being kidnapped is because once I got to a certain age (12 or 13) my parents did this amazing thing called trusting me. They trusted me to walk to the store and back. Not only did they trust me, but they forced me. They pushed me out into the world so I could learn on my own. I can't give them full credit because I always told my parents everything so they could guide me, so pretty much I just trusted them back. In the case of my best friend, her mom doesn't trust her and hasn't taught her to be strong and unafraid. A common to thing hear in her house is "______ what are you wearing? What if a dirty man gives you dirty looks?!?" I can understand where her mom is coming from, but it would be a lot simpler to say "______, I don't feel comfortable with you wearing that. Can you please change?" That sounds a lot better than injecting fear into your daughter. So now my best friend will probably always be scared. I just worry that she is going to miss out on so many chances in life because she can't just let go. I don't want her to completely forget that there are predators out there, I still want her to be aware. Once again, there is a difference between being aware and being scared. Don't live in fear.